I'm not a perfect person. I lie a lot, I blame a lot..

Open your eyes wide Dennis. Sometimes the problem lies with yourself.

I only want to be better.. I have a very bad temper.. I am lost most of the time..

Will you be my shepherd and  guide me?

Hello everybody. I'm here because nobody is doing desk duty now and they are all sleeping. This morning I got screamed at by the other shift sgt for something so minor which makes me think that he is bitch in SAF clothing. Don't know what's wrong with the other shift nowadays, they like to pick on my shift when they cannot make it themselves.

Can't wait to ORD from this hellhole. This braces are seriously getting on my nerves, I can't eat fast and munch heartily. Food always get stuck in the wires and the metal wires are giving me ulcers. Oh well, suck it up, it will be over soon!

Fuck you and ur male bitchings

There is a point of time in your life where you feel that your life is fucked-up, you are unhappy with yourself and all these low self esteem bringing you down. Yes, Dennis is at this point where no matter how hard he try, he just cannot find anymore of his strength. It's really true, I am not born with a sliver spoon, I am lazy, don't have much relevant skills and I deviate a lot from other people.

Maybe it's time for more reflection and more drastic change. But right now I am just exhausted mentally and physically.

The first three months were full of fun and laughter with you around. I didn't know that MGS girls can be so bubbly and adorable, thought they were all rich and proud. Used to call you Mershell and joke around with you, really regretted not even sms-ing you lately. Silly girl just kept everything to yourself. Can you imagine the last message I received about you is about your funeral? It's all over now.

Rest in peace Mich, you are now at a better place no pain no suffering just happiness. :) You'll always be remembered.

I hate lazy people, all talk and nagging but no work done. SAF is not a chalet so please jolly well reflect and buck up.

Life is slightly better now with a new MP spec in camp and more manpower from 4AD. I took IPPT and only got a sliver, oh well not going to retake anymore. One thing about me is I just cannot appear strict, I don't know how to scold, even if I scold I will look as if I am throwing a tantrum. Ah, fuck it.. Cannot be bothered anymore.

Extracted 2 tooth and going for 2 more this thursdays. Really hate taking out tooth, it sucks so badly, first they give you anesthetics a lot of injections on your gums, tongue and pull out those healthy tooth which are strongly attached to your gums. I feel really sad when I thought about my good tooth gone to waste.. FUCK THESE VAMPIRE TEETH, I AM NEVER GONNA SEE YOU GUYS ANYMORE IN A FEW YEARS TIME.

A bit nervous about the braces process heard stories like jaw dislocation etc. Hope I won't be so unlucky.

I will never be the same again, if we ever meet again... (at least you see me with braces soon ;))

After so long.. Finally back to blogging.

Took me 5 months to realise that I will never get the respect I wanted with my men. I am not a strict sergeant and I will never be, because that's in my blood. But that doesn't give them any right to hurl insulting words at me over and over again. Because one has got to know where is the tipping point. I m not a lifeless person immune to what people say about me and most importantly, I won't let degrading things overwhelm me.. I might look okay but please know your limits.

Life really sucked now because I've made it. Cant wait to ORD from the hell hole.

It was only a couple of months ago, I treasured my book out time so much, I would rather spend hell loads of money cabbing to have more time on my own. It was all worth it to spend money to buy time to spend with your loved ones, friends and doing things which you've been wanting to do. well of course going to church and make up cell group was not in my 'wanting to do' list.

But now things have made a huge change, I could have more time on my own, so much more time, nobody can tell me how to spend those time. With all these days which have passed so quickly I realised I need to put them to good use. I need to catch up on my studies, I need to make myself feel useful again. I cannot indulge in things which are not helpful to me in the long run. I cannot afford to disappoint my parents when they are getting old and feeble. I need to stop spending money unnecessarily to make myself to make myself feel good.

I have to grow up to be a 20 year old responsible guy.

 
These guys are my fellow RPs.. All of them are older than me. I have to learn everything from them. Although I don't like the fact that they are all ORD-ing soon and clearing leave but I kinda will remember them because they are my pride as a sergeant.

Although they dont respect me as one and some even likes to do stupid things and get us into trouble, I still love them the same!!
Bowling with them is freakishly awesome and fun. Really hope that my guys wont leave me so soon or I'll have insufficient manpower. Time really flies when you're doing shift work.